Tuesday, August 18, 2015


Sometimes I think it's odd that I could spend my whole day in my room, and that I find it comforting to be alone.

If you ask my parents, I've always been an independent child. I guess independent is another word for stubborn. If I didn't want to do it, I didn't do it.

Some people may call me selfish because I won't do something unless it benefits me in some way. I think all people are like that, is there such thing as a selfless person? No. People always have a reason for doing things, whether it's to make them feel like a better person or to help them gain something.

I could go days just staying in my room, writing, listening to music, or just watching YouTube videos. Call me a hermit(?).

Over the last six years I have found myself not talking to people I used to talk to because I felt the friendship was over. I ended the friendship, broke off all contact. I believe in clean slates.

To be honest...I have less than 10 friends, that's being generous. Maybe 2 or 3 who I am extremely close to, even then not as close as the closest of friends, and the rest are acquaintances. And I am perfectly okay with that.

Being alone is something I'm good at. Nobody to be disappointed in me or have any expectations for me. I can be who I am.

This sounds a little sad. But I'm not sad. I am happy with my decisions, happy with who I am close to, and I am happy just being.

Have a great day, wherever you are.


Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Music is the reason I write.

I can remember ever since I was little that I have always loved music. I mean, who didn't?

I grew up in a Mexican household which meant music was always playing when we woke up, when we cleaned, and especially when we had social gatherings. Spanish music always has a story to tell, they were descriptive and allowed my imagination to flow.

I kind of moved away from spanish music, and I started getting into my own music. Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears, NSYNC, and many more.

In my head, I could create stories, stories I would dream about at night. I liked to sing (even though I was terrible at it) and I liked pretending to be the lead of my stories inside my head. My imagination was wild.

The first time I wrote was after reading Twilight in middle school. I think I was in eighth grade. I wrote and wrote, at least I tried. I wrote in complete silence because that's how my neighbor wrote her amazing stories.

I wanted to write amazing stories, too. Like the ones in my head that I got while listening to music. I didn't write for a long time after that because I thought I wasn't good enough. Every story I tried to write just ended with me saving it and never looking at it again because I got blocked.

One day, while listening to Thriving Ivory, I was driving to my friends house to pick her up to go to class, I just had this story pop in my head. I remember grabbing my phone and opening the voice recording app, and I recorded myself just saying words.

I didn't really have a story. I had an idea. I still remember the words that I thought of that day. Car accident. Coma. Scarred body. College. Unhappiness. Save Me.

I could even imagine the place where the car accident happened, I had a place in my town that inspired it.

This all happened before I wrote my first book. I pushed the idea aside, and I'm glad I did because it really let me think about it for about a year. Scarlett and Ryder talked to me in dreams, they developed and finally I just had to write about them.

I wrote about them with a few songs in mind, including the song Unhappy by Thriving Ivory, one of my favorite bands.

Now I don't write without a music playlist. Music helps my imagination, it helps me write, and I absolutely love it. Sometimes I'll write a scene with one song on repeat just so I don't lose idea in my mind.

Now, talking about Scarlett and Ryder...I released Broken Pleasure last month, and I am very proud of it, though the idea of anybody reading it makes me feel ill. I did get my first review on it a few weeks ago, and you can get it here.

I hope you guys like it(: