A milestone...turning 20

I turned 20 this last weekend, on Sunday to be exact.

This is it.

The end of my teen years. a moment I never thought I was even going to get to.

What am I now?

I'm no longer a teen. Not technically an adult, that's 21. It's scary, now I feel like I have a bunch of things I have to get done.

Boyfriend?
Marriage?
Children?
Real job?

I mean, this is sort of the beginning of my life, the last 20years have all been in preparation for this.

But you know what?

Fuck it.

I'm going to do what is necessary for me to be happy. Whether that be writing or finding a great guy to be with. Whatever I need to do.

Sorry that it's been two months since I wrote anything, but I promise (like I always do lol) I'm going to do my best to write more on here.

And sorry again for the shortness of this post, promise to write more soon.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, good things are to come...

Hello readers! Sorry that I've been a little MIA these past few months, so many things have been happening in my life, I just forgot to blog. Don't worry though, I'm back, and I'm going to my best to upload a post every week, maybe sometimes twice a week!? I don't know, it's going to be a new year in seven days, and we're just going to see what happens.
First things first, Merry Christmas and if you don't celebrate Christmas, happy holidays! And a happy new year...
2015 is just around the corner and I just have this feeling inside my gut that it's going to be a really great year.
So I'm going to catch you up a bit on what's been going on since October...
1. I published a book through Amazon KDP publishing, it's an ebook and if you'd like to grab it, you can get it right here! It is 99 cents, and I really hope you guys like it.
2. I saw my favorite band TwentyOnePilots. I can't even tell you how excited I was about it! I remember crying at one point. They were so good, also saw MisterWives, and they were amazing as well. I'm hoping to see them in March, so fingers crossed!
3. I saw Aaron Carter live with one of my best friends from Iowa! I drove down to Joliet, Mojoes, and then we slept over her grandmothers house, who by the way makes the best eggs and bacon. Usually I don't like eggs, but I can never get enough of them at her house.
4. I went to my friends grandmothers house for Thanksgiving, and I had to learn how to drive on the express way, which is freaking terrifying, but at one point I was going 80-100 mph. I also only got lost for half an hour, compared to other times, that was not as bad! haha
5. Oh! I got contact. I still wear my glasses only when I have to go somewhere in a hurry, but I've been wearing contacts, and I'm really excited about them.
6. I got a new laptop, I invested in a Macbook Air, and I just have to say that it is the best thing to buy. It's just so light and so easy to use. I still have my Dell, which I love dearly and have tons of stories on.
7. Speaking of stories, I'm almost finished with my second book! (: It is called To Save You, and it's based on the brother of the girl in the first book. You'll get some answers to In Your Arms, and things are very suspenseful i think. You can preorder it here! It is 1.99, and it comes out January 31st, maybe a bit sooner if I can finish it soon and quickly.
Well, I think that's it, I hope you guys are excited about the upcoming year just like I am. Enjoy your holidays!
xxRebeca

Paying It Forward

I'm a big believer of doing everything you can to help someone and putting good thoughts, feelings, and actions out into the world.

I grew up in lower middle class, at one point in my life, I remember living in a basement with cockroaches and mice, and it wasn't our first home with those problems. I know what it's like to want something, but not asking for it because my parent's cannot afford it, even though they would do their best to give me what I want.

When I moved to the town that I live in now, I remember feeling left out. Sure we lived in a house, but I felt like that girl who came from a poor neighborhood all the time. I never really had dolls, I got my first doll when I was about nine, or something, and it was a Bratz doll, and I wanted it because my neighbor had a ton.

Over the years, I've learned to appreciate what I have. I often travel to Downtown Chicago, and I used to get sad all the time from seeing homeless people. I still get sad, but now I've chosen to do something about it.

I always carry a lot of spare change in my bag, mostly because I hate using it and it just accumilates. Every time I go to Chicago, I just give it to homeless people.
I know some of you may say that, I don't know if these people are going to buy drugs for themselves, or what they're going to do with the money they get. That's true, but I have faith in people.
Also, I often eat out in Chicago, and sometimes I get food at the train station or on the way to the train station. I always buy extra, and I give out food to the homeless.
It's always rewarding to see how happy they get when I offer them food. That's one way to ensure they're not going to spend the money on something bad.

What inspired me to write this post today was this video

It represents how one action can influence another action, and it can just keep going and going. Paying it forward. It really doesn't matter how big or small this action is, it's just the fact that you do something to keep it going.
I hope this put a little light in your day. Enjoy your Tuesday.
-Rebeca x

How I Met Your Mother...

I understand this post is 6 months too late, but it's that time of year that all the shows come back on air and I got to thinking about one of my favorite shows to have ever air...How I Met Your Mother. I thought about how it will never come back on CBS, and how I'm so going to binge watch it on Netflix until my eyes are swollen shut from all the crying.

That will be me.
How I Met Your Mother has changed my life. I was sixteen when I started to watch it, I caught it on the hospital TV when I was there for a week for surgery. It was on very late, but from what I saw it was funny and emotional and raw.
It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I really got into it, it was also around the time I got Netflix!
Although I wasn't the age these characters were, I found myself relating to them on many levels. The episode where Lily applies to an art school, and then takes the scholarship, she reminds me so much of me and others.
I'm 19 now and I have no idea what I want to do. I will be dead set on a path, up until I get to the point where I actually have to go through with it. Then I will get worried. Have I taken enough risks in life, or have I played it safe? The next quote is life because I think almost everyone has this moment where they think this.
"Lily: OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not. And dammit, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this; my life, my relationship, my career, mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?"
Just take that all in because it will make sense.
I never wanted that… Of course, it’s one thing not to want something; it’s another to be told you can’t have it. I guess it’s just nice knowing that you could someday do it if you change your mind. But now, all of a sudden, that door is closed. Robin
Just reading this quote, it doesn't mention something specific but something comes to mind when you read this.
Robin is talking about having children, it's when she's learned that she can't have any children...ever. 
I cried during this episode. I understood what Robin was thinking, I am not infertile, but if I ever want to have children, it will be extremely difficult. I don't want children, I've never seen myself as the mother-type, but like Robin, it was comforting to know that if I ever changed my mind...

You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be. It doesn’t work that way.

Lily 

True that Lily. We have to go through certain things to get where we are going and everything happens for a reason.

There were a lot of life lessons in HIMYM. It was like a teacher for me and boy did I learn a lot. Here are just a few things I learned...

“But, love doesn’t make sense … You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do. I know that sounds cheesy but it’s just true.”

You will be shocked kids when you’ll discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you wanna keep around, you do something about it.

Future Ted

This is where I'll  leave you, I hope you guys enjoy this post. (:

Four Seconds To Lose by K.A. Tucker

A few days ago, I finished this book. I suffer from severe insomnia, so I usually start reading on my phone, kindle, or just grab an actual book when I can't sleep or get back to sleep.

I had been stuck on Four Seconds to Lose for a few weeks now, and I was about a third into it, so when I woke up at 3 in the morning for no reason, I began to read it. Suddenly it was 7 in the morning, I had to start getting ready so I could get to my summer class on time at my local community college, and I had sixty pages left! I should have felt a need to finish it right away, I was rushing home!


I was freaking out. But I did what I always do when I'm in love with a good book, and judge me, I sure do, I stopped reading for a day! I don't know why I do it, but I did. Once I had a free afternoon, I began to read it again. I was literally screaming when I reached the end (Don't judge, I'm sure I'm not the only one who does that in their home).

K.A. Tucker always keeps me on my toes, I seriously don't know what to expect or if I should even trust my instincts. Usually, I'm wrong, haha.
So this would be my first official review, and I hope you guys like it.

Owning a strip club isn’t the fantasy most guys expect it to be. With long hours, a staff with enough issues to keep a psych ward in business, and the police regularly on his case, twenty-nine-year-old Cain is starting to second guess his unspoken mission to save the women he employs. And then blond, brown-eyed Charlie Rourke walks through his door, and things get really complicated. Cain abides by a strict “no sleeping with the staff” rule. But being around Charlie challenges Cain’s self-control…and it’s been a long time since any woman has done that. 

Twenty-two-year-old Charlie Rourke needs a lot of money, really fast, in order to vanish before it’s too late. Taking her clothes off for men makes her stomach curl but Charlie tells herself that at least she’s putting her acting and dancing skills to good use. And though her fellow dancers seem eager to nab their sexy, sophisticated, and genuinely caring boss, she’s not interested. After all, Charlie Rourke doesn’t really exist—and the girl pretending to be her can't get distracted by romance.

Unfortunately, Charlie soon discovers that developing feelings for Cain is inevitable, and that those feelings may not be unrequited—but losing him when he finds out what she’s involved with will be more painful than any other sentence awaiting her.

This is the third book I've read from K.A. Tucker, and it has all the lovely characters from the past two books. Of course, Charlie Rourke is a new one.
Charlie grew up with her stepfather Sam, and he's not such a nice guy. He's involved Charlie in something bad, and she is going to run. Just one little problem...she needs money.
Come in Cain. He gives her a job at Penny's and their attraction towards each other is very hard to hide! I felt so giddy as I read on and I was rooting for them.
I think my favorite quote was:
I believe second chances exist only in dreams, never in reality.
I believe you don't have years, or months, or weeks to impact a person's life.
You have seconds.
Seconds to win them over, And seconds to lose them.”
It just speaks truths. K.A. Tucker is a writing genius!

This book is about secrets and the past, Cain and Charlie have such horrible pasts and they both suffer immensely. They have trouble feeling good about themselves, but when they're together...the world is right. Forgiveness of someone elses faults and forgiveness for their own faults is a really big theme.
This book will keep you on your toes, and will make your heart swell and break and then swell again!


I hope you guys will read it and love it just like I did! K.A. Tucker is a an amazing author, and her writing style with these books is unique, and one I appreciated.

-Rebeca

Life Ruiners

"Why would she do that?"
"Because she's a life ruiner, she ruins peoples lives."
I have this thought every time I read someones book. I swear EVERY TIME I GET TO THE CLIMAX OF A BOOK.

 Mean Girls is so relatable even when it isn't.

So on Thursday, June 26th, one of my favorite authors K.A. Tucker came by the Book Cellar (Chicago) and had a meet and greet. She was seriously so nice. It was a fun experience and I picked up her fourth book Five Ways to Fall <3. I'm still on her third book Four Seconds To Lose, and seriously I can't.
I love her books DON'T GET ME WRONG, but they just kill me. I seriously cry and scream while reading, and I'm pretty sure my mom is one outburst away from institutionalizing me. I'm being very serious.
K.A. Tucker isn't the only author I've fallen victim to though. There is Abbi Glines, John Green, Gayle Forman, Sara Wolf, J. Lynn, Marata Eros, Jessica Sorensen, Komal Kant, Colleen Hoover, Bennett Madison, and Autumn Doughton, just to name a few life ruiners.
Every single one of those authors have caused me to seriously re-evaluate my life when it comes to reading. Reading has become bittersweet. What am I saying, I love it.

I love the emotion that each book brings out of me. I love that even though this book can break me, it can also make me laugh and smile.

 I also scream out good things and I get all excited for the characters.
It's knowing what feelings these books bring out in me that seriously makes me want to become a serious writer. I want to do what those authors do. Write and have people feel a million different things while reading.
So I want to dedicate this blog to those life ruiners, I will be writing reviews on books that ruin my life and lets see where this takes me. (:
-Rebeca