Loving yourself is the hardest thing you can do...

Having dealt with depression most of my life, I never realized what it was like to love myself until a few years ago.

I knew how to hate myself, that I had no problem with.

There was this year, between the hospital and then therapy, that something clicked in my mind. I was seventeen, and really sick of just being sad.

I knew there wasn't a way I could just turn off my depression, it would always be there, but maybe I could divert it.

Here are some things I learned in therapy, and some stuff I learned after therapy.

1. Learn what you like about yourself: One thing I could remember that I liked about myself back then was how much I liked writing. I wrote a few pieces every now and then, but I was proud of them because I had written them.

2. Learning to give myself a break: There's no harsher critic than yourself. In school, I felt as if I had to be the best at everything. When I wasn't, that's when all the dark thoughts and feelings came creeping in, so I had to learn to tell myself...It's okay.

3. Learn who the enemy is: Depression is the enemy. It is this black dog trying to keep you down, trying to make you feel as if you're the only who feels that way.

4. Love: It could be loving to write, or falling in love with a person, or fall in love with storms. Whatever you can find, love it, and hold on to it. I really love writing, and hate leaving stories unfinished. I fall in love with my characters and with the thought that only I could finish their stories. That keeps me going most days.

5. Learn your goals: If you have goals...you have a future. My goal is to be a published author, and I think about that everyday. I write to work towards that goal.

6. Love yourself: There are some things only you can do. Think about this world without you, think about all that people that love you, and can't live without you. I can't really tell you how to love yourself. One thing that worked for me, was looking at myself in the mirror in the bathroom and saying it out loud. Say out loud things you love about yourself, and eventually you'll start to believe them.

I'm writing this during a thunderstorm, so I'm going to spend my day indoors writing my new story, and drinking tea, oh and listening to the Grease Live and Legally Blonde The Musical soundtrack, it's amazing!

Hope you guys have a great February, filled with love and happiness!

Rebeca xx

2016 & Resolutions.

Hello Everyone! It's the second day of 2016. Which is insane because I could have sworn we were just starting 2015!

Here's a recap on what happened in 2015 for me:

• I got promoted at work (Many raises$$(I love my job, don't just do it for the money))
• Released my second book called To Save You!
• Did taxes for the first time by myself!
• Bought my first Polaroid (:
• Had a new niece named Vanessa!
• Saw and met Halsey! Along with camped out on the freezing ground and also saw Sam Miller from Paradise Fears there.
• Became obsessed with the sky. Check out my instagram for the pictures I manage to capture!
• Got my first tattoo!! They're blackbirds, maybe I'll write a post about them soon and what they mean to me. (:
• Turned 20! And had a lot of fun on my birthday with friends and family<3
• Had a fun day playing with my coworkers when the power went out. Which included singing, playing soccer, throwing a football, and drinking Slushees.
• Wrote my third book.
• Released my third book called Broken Pleasure!
• Got my first review!
• Wrote my fourth book.
• Released the fourth book! It's called Broken Perfectly!
• Became friends with authors<3
• Read some really good books! Which I will also be making a post about my favorites.
• Was a Zombie for halloween!
• Opened the store for the first time by myself!
• Started writing my fifth book!(;

Now it's 2016 which means another 366(Leap year) days for 366 new adventures. Not every single day will be exciting, but I will do my best to keep to my resolutions, and have fun, and not stress out as much.

Here are some of my resolutions for the new year!:

• Give up soda entirely. Not caffeine, I can't do it without my occasional teas, plus I don't drink coffee or energy drinks because it makes my stomach upset.
• Start a YouTube channel where I want to weekly vlog.
• Get more people to notice my writing.
• Release a thriller/mystery novel.
• Travel to New York and LA, or Oregon, or Seattle. Maybe even Utah. Or the UK. Just travel! Already planning a trip for my 21st birthday in July!
• Get a new car! It can be used, but just something a little better than my 2000 Ford Focus that is always breaking down and has trouble on the snow.
• Go to a book convention!
• Create more connections in the book world.
• Take a road trip.
• Take more photos of the sky!
• Take photos when I'm with friends, family, or just alone. Take photos and document this year.
• Love.
• Be Happy.
• Be more charitable (already have a few plans for that).
• Be present.
• Eat healthier.
• Give up fast food entirely by the end of the year. Or make it only a treat like one a month.
• Try new foods. I took this quiz on buzzfeed, and I only eat 30 of the 90 foods listed. I am the pickiest of eaters.
• Say yes!
• Keep my car clean.
• Do one thing that scares me everyday.
• Get help for my anxiety.
• Write a few more novels.
• Save money.

And the last thing is a resolution many people have. To exercise. To lose weight.

I am currently very unhappy with the way I look, and with what I weigh. My eating habits are horrendous from barely eating one day to binging the next. And it doesn't make me feel good and I'm sick.
Literally sick. All the time. I can pretend I'm fine, but I can feel my health declining and it's not a good feeling.
I've been a member at a gym for the last six months, but have only gone once. And I was in the hospital yesterday. Since april, I've lost six pounds. Not a lot, nothing at all, but it kind of gave me the push, and the will to say...I can do this.
I want to lose 100 pounds by the end of the year. Thats 365 days from now. I won't beat myself up if I don't make it there. If I can get to under 200 pounds, I will be happy with myself because it's been 3 years since I was that weight.
It's time to put my gym membership to good use. Time to face reality. Time to make some progress, and just stop putting it off and lying to myself.

Anyway, I hope you guys had a good start to the New Year. Make the best of it. <3

-Rebeca xx

To Save You is Live!

It's January 12th, and To Save You, my second book is now live! You can get it here!

I started writing this story about a month and a half ago, and I guess I wanted to incorporate a little bit of what I went through as a sixteen year old.

SPOILERS. I won't write about specifically goes on in the book, but I will write about the experiences I went through and wrote about in the book.

Depression affects millions of people everyday. I've read many stories where the guy tries to save the girl from herself, and in my story, what makes it different, is that he can't save her. Mathew admits that he can't do it alone.

I remember being sixteen, and I had spent the last few years just tangling people into my web of lies. A lot of my friends knew I hurt myself, but nobody said one thing because I had manipulated them into thinking it was nothing. I just liked cutting myself, and it relieved stress. I made them think, well, as long as she's not trying to kill herself, she's fine.

I surrounded myself with the wrong people. I was so unhappy, and there was nothing I could do to bring myself out of it sometimes.

Presley had tried to kill herself one time, but she instantly regretted doing what she did. I took that from a real life experience.

I was probably twelve or thirteen, I remember that I was in middle school. I had gotten into a fight with my mother, it was summer, and I didn't want to go back to school. I just thought everything would be better if I was gone.

I took Excedrin, these migraine pills, and I took about a third of the bottle. I laid down on my bed, ready to die. Then something clicked in my head. Dying wasn't the answer.

I started to throw it all up. It took a few days, but eventually I started to feel better. I never told anyone about my almost overdose, they just thought I was really sick. It was the scariest time of my life, and I was twelve!

Another thing I wrote about that happened in my life, it was religious parents. My parents are religious, especially my mom.

I was raised a Catholic, went to church, but around eight years old, I started to question faith. Whether you believe in God or believe in nothing, that's your choice, I won't judge you.

I felt religion was being shoved down my throat. That's when I stopped going to church, I would throw temper tantrums, and my parents would leave me at home. I know it crushed them that I was no longer going, but I had made my choice.

I know a lot of friends that have gone through this. Whether it be going through it as an eight year old, or a eighteen year old.

Now I am a healthy 19 and a half year old! (today is my half birthday)! I wrote this book as a tribute to all those broken people out there, even the healed people.

You have to fix yourself and love yourself before you can start loving anybody else. No one can save you but yourself.

I hope you guys enjoy the book, I worked really hard on it.

xxRebeca

Sexual assault is not okay.

There has been buzz going around Sam Pepper's latest video (which has now been taken down from YouTube). If you didn't see the video, it is of Sam Pepper, pretending to have his hands in his pockets (has a big hoodie on) and when the girl turns around to give him directions, he pinches their butts and pretends it's not him.
The girls look confused and a bit horrified that someone touched them, I know I would be. Some of them laugh it off, but you could see that they were clearly uncomfortable. Those advances were unwanted.
Some people bring up the point that the girls laughed, they understood it was a joke, and obviously they were okay with it. Laughing about it doesn't mean anything! I laugh at the most inappropriate times, and I laugh when I am uncomfortable. Laughing doesn't mean that it was okay to do that to someone.
Sam Pepper has 2.4 MILLION subscribers, and unfortunately this isn't the first time he sexually harasses someone on camera in public. There have been kissing "pranks", lasso "pranks". Notice I put prank in quotation marks because it's not a prank. It isn't funny to the victims of his pranks.
Sex Educator Laci Green wrote an open letter to Sam Pepper, and many fellow YouTuber's responded, wanting to be a part of it. The community has spoken that this is not okay for people to do and make a profit from.
If you want to read the letter, you can press right here. Over 60+ YouTubers have signed this letter addressing Sam, and there have been over 80K reblogs on Tumblr. Sam Pepper is now disinvited from VidCon and Playlist Live.
There have been video responses like JamesChats (he does a great job addressing this) and many more calling Sam out, and I am glad because he should never be able to get away with this, no one in general should EVER get away with it.
If you are a victim of sexual assault, report it or talk to someone, I highly encourage you. It is never okay for someone to touch you without your consent, you are a person and you have rights.
Thanks for reading this guys, Go TEAM INTERNET!
-Rebeca x

World Suicide Prevention Day

"Scars remind us of where we've been, they don't have to dictate where we're going." -Agent Rossi, Criminal Minds.


Ever since I was little, I knew I was different. I saw the world differently than others. My world was often dark and I often felt alone.

It wasn't until I was sixteen that I was diagnosed. Bipolar 1. I thought, they had to be mistaken, there's no way I have Bipolar disorder. But all of a sudden, all the dots started to connect...

All those school nights that I ended up pulling all nighters and I didn't know why, it just felt like a good idea and that I was invincible, no sleep would make me think better and be better in class(ideas that didn't make sense). The days were my mind would race, and I couldn't stay still, or when I would talk and suddenly jump into a whole other conversation without taking a breath or realizing I was changing the conversation. Not being able to stay friends with people because all of a sudden, they became the most annoying person to me and I didn't need them, even though they did nothing to me. Anger coming and going quicker than I could blink.

And the crash...
The depression. The moment when things stopped making sense. When I felt this cloud of pure darkness come over me. I didn't want to leave my room. I didn't want to talk to people. I constantly felt like crying and I didn't know why. These were the moments when I felt like hurting myself, whether that be self-harm or suicidal ideations.

People always tell me, "Rebeca, you don't seem like the person who would be depressed. That's not who you are."
I think most of high school, I was able to cover it up real good. I think a lot of people are good at hiding their disease, that's why it comes such a shock to us when someone commits suicide.

The thing you have to know about Bipolar disorder is that we don't always get these "episodes." As I've gotten older and gotten help, these episodes became less and less, and I'm happier. I'm glad I got help three years ago.

Today is Suicide Awareness Day. The reason I wanted to tell my story is because mental illness and suicide go hand in hand.

• A significant number of those with mental illnesses who die by suicide do not contact health or social services near the time of their death. In many instances, there are insufficient services available to assist those in need at times of crisis. (IASP)
• Unless stigma is confronted and challenged, it will continue to be a major barrier to the treatment of mental illnesses and to the prevention of suicide.
• Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the world, especially among young people.
• Suicide accounts for one death every 40 seconds.

Suicides happen every day. They affect us all. We lose the people we love and cherish, and it kills us inside because we constantly think about what we could have done to help.

Here are some signs from Save.org that someone you know and love may be thinking about suicide:

Warning Signs of Suicide

These signs may mean someone is at risk for suicide. Risk is greater if a behavior is new or has increased and if it seems related to a painful event, loss or change.

• Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself.
• Looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online or buying a gun.
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
• Talking about being a burden to others.
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.
• Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
• Sleeping too little or too much.
• Withdrawn or feeling isolated.
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.
• Displaying extreme mood swings.

Additional Warning Signs of Suicide

• Preoccupation with death.
• Suddenly happier, calmer.
• Loss of interest in things one cares about.
• Visiting or calling people to say goodbye.
• Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
• Giving things away, such as prized possessions.

This is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US)-  1-800-273-TALK (8255)

To Write Love On Her Arms has a wonderful campaign going on right now, and I highly support them. It's called No One Else Can Play Your Part. 

You can watch the video they did here.

The reason I wrote this blogpost is because I want people to know they're not alone, and it's never too late to get help and recover. You are in this world for a reason.

Live and love you guys.

-Rebeca

50 Facts About Me

Good afternoon readers!
It's Sunday and I've spent half my day just watching YouTube videos, and I was trying to think of an idea for a blog post. Finally, I managed to get to Katie Joslin's YouTube and I saw she recently posted a video listing 50 facts about herself, and I thought it would be a fun way to get to know me! Do subscribe to Katie, she is awesome and I really love her channel!
Enjoy!

1. My name is Rebeca
2. I'm 19
3. I graduated high school in 2013
4. I used to be part of a social media street team called the A-Team (not named after Ed Sheeran's song). I would spend countless hours tweeting and spreading word of upcoming artists, and it's where I met some of my closest friends (TOMI)
5. When I was in 6th grade I won tickets to a Chris Brown concert and I went even though I did not know more than three songs of his.
6. In January, I won tickets to see Fall Out Boy and Paramore in concert, it was amazing cause it was like a birthday present since my birthday was the next day after the concert.
7. For two years I suffered with intense stomach pains, got constantly misdiagnosed, and turns out it was gallstones the size of golf balls. I am no longer a proud owner of a gall bladder.
8. I'm obsessed with music, I will spend countless hours on itunes searching for new music or new artists, or if I hear a song on a TV show, I will shazam it and learn everything I can about the song and the artist.
9. I suffer with Bipolar disorder type 1, and I have severe anxiety. It's really hard for me to keep friends because I get really irritated, and I will come up with reasons as to why I no longer want to be friends with them and I will cut off all contact.
10. I love Big Brother.
11. I've met Selena Gomez!
12. I once waiting twelve hours outside a venue for a 5SOS concert. Five words: Freezing cold and worth it.
13. I saw One Direction and 5SOS at Soldier Field in August!
14. I plan to be a writer.
15. I am currently a hundred pages into my novel... (:
16. I truly believe in doing something you love. I quit my job at a retail store because I was so depressed and it was an abusive environment. 
17. I am really good at doing hairstyles, I did my hair for prom along with my friends hair.
18. Braids are my specialty! I learned how to french braid in physics class, I sat all the way in the back with my friend, and I would just do her hair until it came out like I wanted it to.
19. My longest friendship has lasted about 11 years or so.
20. I became close friends with my bully in sixth grade, she would pick on me, but I would also get revenge. It was a love hate relationship.
21. I've never had a boyfriend.
22. I don't want kids, I've never seen myself as the mother type. But I love my little niece Sophie!
23. I'm an atheist.
24. If I have something to do like go somewhere to get something, I will spend days getting ready and planning everything out.
25. The worst feeling in the world for me is when my legs fall asleep.
26. I love concerts, but recently with my anxiety worsening, I have to be a bit far away from the crowd because I will start panicking.
27. My favorite show of all time would have to be How I Met Your Mother, but it's close with Grey's Anatomy.
28. I cry with emotional movies or shows or trailers or videos! But other than that, I'm usually a composed person.
29. I'm obsessed with serial killers, when I was going into my senior year, we got to talk to an ex police chief who helped catch John Wayne Gacy, the highlight of my summer.
30. I didn't learn to drive until August 20th, 2013. I was terrified of the road and honestly, I hate being in control.
31. I got my license October 1st. Couple of days later, I drove all the way to downtown Chicago to go meet YouTubers.
32. I've met O2L, Andrea Russett, Anna Russett, and Jennxpenn, Ryan Beatty, MKTO, The Summer Set, The Cab, Paradise Fears, Rocky Loves Emily, and Frankie Grande
33. In 2012, I think, I met my friend Jack, a drummer who I had subscribed to on YouTube, at a Ryan Beatty concert. Later, I convinced him to get on Twitter!
34. I thank @TheDylanHolland for introducing me to my best friend three years ago via twitter!
35. My favorite bands right now are Misterwives and TwentyOnePilots.
36. I will be seeing both those bands in October.
37. When I was home sick, Willow Shields, AKA PRIMROSE EVERDEEN, tweeted me to feel better.
38. In June I met one of my friends from the UK, and it was a surreal experience!
39. Also in June, I also made the transition from Samsung Galaxy to the iPhone. I love my phone.
40. My favorite movie is ALL OF THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES.
41. I love reading.
42. I have over 300 books in my kindle, um, no I have not read them all, most of them were free.I have an obsession.
43. First book that ever caught my attention was To Kill A Mockingbird
44. First book that I read outside of the classroom that caught my attention was Perfect Chemistry, the Wake Series, or The Hunger Games series, my teacher recommended them all to me.
45. In my Lit Seminar my senior year, I finished all my assignments in about three weeks, it was a reading class and I read fifteen books in that class. This was also around the time I got my Kindle.
46. I never really ate McDonalds until I was like eleven. My parents hated eating out, so it was a treat when we would go to any fast food restaurant.
47. I love Hot Cheetohs, I will never quit them.
48. I hate ketchup and mayo, and salad dressing. I'm the pickiest person ever.
49. I once forced myself to try and train myself to eat and like mayonnaise on my sandwiches. I threw up three days later.
50. Lastly, I'm allergic to seafood.

I hope you guys liked this! It was fun having to try to come up with things, there were a lot of things I forgot, haha.

Have a good day!

-Rebeca

How I Met Your Mother...

I understand this post is 6 months too late, but it's that time of year that all the shows come back on air and I got to thinking about one of my favorite shows to have ever air...How I Met Your Mother. I thought about how it will never come back on CBS, and how I'm so going to binge watch it on Netflix until my eyes are swollen shut from all the crying.

That will be me.
How I Met Your Mother has changed my life. I was sixteen when I started to watch it, I caught it on the hospital TV when I was there for a week for surgery. It was on very late, but from what I saw it was funny and emotional and raw.
It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I really got into it, it was also around the time I got Netflix!
Although I wasn't the age these characters were, I found myself relating to them on many levels. The episode where Lily applies to an art school, and then takes the scholarship, she reminds me so much of me and others.
I'm 19 now and I have no idea what I want to do. I will be dead set on a path, up until I get to the point where I actually have to go through with it. Then I will get worried. Have I taken enough risks in life, or have I played it safe? The next quote is life because I think almost everyone has this moment where they think this.
"Lily: OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not. And dammit, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this; my life, my relationship, my career, mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?"
Just take that all in because it will make sense.
I never wanted that… Of course, it’s one thing not to want something; it’s another to be told you can’t have it. I guess it’s just nice knowing that you could someday do it if you change your mind. But now, all of a sudden, that door is closed. Robin
Just reading this quote, it doesn't mention something specific but something comes to mind when you read this.
Robin is talking about having children, it's when she's learned that she can't have any children...ever. 
I cried during this episode. I understood what Robin was thinking, I am not infertile, but if I ever want to have children, it will be extremely difficult. I don't want children, I've never seen myself as the mother-type, but like Robin, it was comforting to know that if I ever changed my mind...

You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be. It doesn’t work that way.

Lily 

True that Lily. We have to go through certain things to get where we are going and everything happens for a reason.

There were a lot of life lessons in HIMYM. It was like a teacher for me and boy did I learn a lot. Here are just a few things I learned...

“But, love doesn’t make sense … You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do. I know that sounds cheesy but it’s just true.”

You will be shocked kids when you’ll discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you wanna keep around, you do something about it.

Future Ted

This is where I'll  leave you, I hope you guys enjoy this post. (:

Four Seconds To Lose by K.A. Tucker

A few days ago, I finished this book. I suffer from severe insomnia, so I usually start reading on my phone, kindle, or just grab an actual book when I can't sleep or get back to sleep.

I had been stuck on Four Seconds to Lose for a few weeks now, and I was about a third into it, so when I woke up at 3 in the morning for no reason, I began to read it. Suddenly it was 7 in the morning, I had to start getting ready so I could get to my summer class on time at my local community college, and I had sixty pages left! I should have felt a need to finish it right away, I was rushing home!


I was freaking out. But I did what I always do when I'm in love with a good book, and judge me, I sure do, I stopped reading for a day! I don't know why I do it, but I did. Once I had a free afternoon, I began to read it again. I was literally screaming when I reached the end (Don't judge, I'm sure I'm not the only one who does that in their home).

K.A. Tucker always keeps me on my toes, I seriously don't know what to expect or if I should even trust my instincts. Usually, I'm wrong, haha.
So this would be my first official review, and I hope you guys like it.

Owning a strip club isn’t the fantasy most guys expect it to be. With long hours, a staff with enough issues to keep a psych ward in business, and the police regularly on his case, twenty-nine-year-old Cain is starting to second guess his unspoken mission to save the women he employs. And then blond, brown-eyed Charlie Rourke walks through his door, and things get really complicated. Cain abides by a strict “no sleeping with the staff” rule. But being around Charlie challenges Cain’s self-control…and it’s been a long time since any woman has done that. 

Twenty-two-year-old Charlie Rourke needs a lot of money, really fast, in order to vanish before it’s too late. Taking her clothes off for men makes her stomach curl but Charlie tells herself that at least she’s putting her acting and dancing skills to good use. And though her fellow dancers seem eager to nab their sexy, sophisticated, and genuinely caring boss, she’s not interested. After all, Charlie Rourke doesn’t really exist—and the girl pretending to be her can't get distracted by romance.

Unfortunately, Charlie soon discovers that developing feelings for Cain is inevitable, and that those feelings may not be unrequited—but losing him when he finds out what she’s involved with will be more painful than any other sentence awaiting her.

This is the third book I've read from K.A. Tucker, and it has all the lovely characters from the past two books. Of course, Charlie Rourke is a new one.
Charlie grew up with her stepfather Sam, and he's not such a nice guy. He's involved Charlie in something bad, and she is going to run. Just one little problem...she needs money.
Come in Cain. He gives her a job at Penny's and their attraction towards each other is very hard to hide! I felt so giddy as I read on and I was rooting for them.
I think my favorite quote was:
I believe second chances exist only in dreams, never in reality.
I believe you don't have years, or months, or weeks to impact a person's life.
You have seconds.
Seconds to win them over, And seconds to lose them.”
It just speaks truths. K.A. Tucker is a writing genius!

This book is about secrets and the past, Cain and Charlie have such horrible pasts and they both suffer immensely. They have trouble feeling good about themselves, but when they're together...the world is right. Forgiveness of someone elses faults and forgiveness for their own faults is a really big theme.
This book will keep you on your toes, and will make your heart swell and break and then swell again!


I hope you guys will read it and love it just like I did! K.A. Tucker is a an amazing author, and her writing style with these books is unique, and one I appreciated.

-Rebeca

Life Ruiners

"Why would she do that?"
"Because she's a life ruiner, she ruins peoples lives."
I have this thought every time I read someones book. I swear EVERY TIME I GET TO THE CLIMAX OF A BOOK.

 Mean Girls is so relatable even when it isn't.

So on Thursday, June 26th, one of my favorite authors K.A. Tucker came by the Book Cellar (Chicago) and had a meet and greet. She was seriously so nice. It was a fun experience and I picked up her fourth book Five Ways to Fall <3. I'm still on her third book Four Seconds To Lose, and seriously I can't.
I love her books DON'T GET ME WRONG, but they just kill me. I seriously cry and scream while reading, and I'm pretty sure my mom is one outburst away from institutionalizing me. I'm being very serious.
K.A. Tucker isn't the only author I've fallen victim to though. There is Abbi Glines, John Green, Gayle Forman, Sara Wolf, J. Lynn, Marata Eros, Jessica Sorensen, Komal Kant, Colleen Hoover, Bennett Madison, and Autumn Doughton, just to name a few life ruiners.
Every single one of those authors have caused me to seriously re-evaluate my life when it comes to reading. Reading has become bittersweet. What am I saying, I love it.

I love the emotion that each book brings out of me. I love that even though this book can break me, it can also make me laugh and smile.

 I also scream out good things and I get all excited for the characters.
It's knowing what feelings these books bring out in me that seriously makes me want to become a serious writer. I want to do what those authors do. Write and have people feel a million different things while reading.
So I want to dedicate this blog to those life ruiners, I will be writing reviews on books that ruin my life and lets see where this takes me. (:
-Rebeca