Having dealt with depression most of my life, I never realized what it was like to love myself until a few years ago.
I knew how to hate myself, that I had no problem with.
There was this year, between the hospital and then therapy, that something clicked in my mind. I was seventeen, and really sick of just being sad.
I knew there wasn't a way I could just turn off my depression, it would always be there, but maybe I could divert it.
Here are some things I learned in therapy, and some stuff I learned after therapy.
1. Learn what you like about yourself: One thing I could remember that I liked about myself back then was how much I liked writing. I wrote a few pieces every now and then, but I was proud of them because I had written them.
2. Learning to give myself a break: There's no harsher critic than yourself. In school, I felt as if I had to be the best at everything. When I wasn't, that's when all the dark thoughts and feelings came creeping in, so I had to learn to tell myself...It's okay.
3. Learn who the enemy is: Depression is the enemy. It is this black dog trying to keep you down, trying to make you feel as if you're the only who feels that way.
4. Love: It could be loving to write, or falling in love with a person, or fall in love with storms. Whatever you can find, love it, and hold on to it. I really love writing, and hate leaving stories unfinished. I fall in love with my characters and with the thought that only I could finish their stories. That keeps me going most days.
5. Learn your goals: If you have goals...you have a future. My goal is to be a published author, and I think about that everyday. I write to work towards that goal.
6. Love yourself: There are some things only you can do. Think about this world without you, think about all that people that love you, and can't live without you. I can't really tell you how to love yourself. One thing that worked for me, was looking at myself in the mirror in the bathroom and saying it out loud. Say out loud things you love about yourself, and eventually you'll start to believe them.
I'm writing this during a thunderstorm, so I'm going to spend my day indoors writing my new story, and drinking tea, oh and listening to the Grease Live and Legally Blonde The Musical soundtrack, it's amazing!
Hope you guys have a great February, filled with love and happiness!
Rebeca xx
Showing posts with label book blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label book blog. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Alone
Sometimes I think it's odd that I could spend my whole day in my room, and that I find it comforting to be alone.
If you ask my parents, I've always been an independent child. I guess independent is another word for stubborn. If I didn't want to do it, I didn't do it.
Some people may call me selfish because I won't do something unless it benefits me in some way. I think all people are like that, is there such thing as a selfless person? No. People always have a reason for doing things, whether it's to make them feel like a better person or to help them gain something.
I could go days just staying in my room, writing, listening to music, or just watching YouTube videos. Call me a hermit(?).
Over the last six years I have found myself not talking to people I used to talk to because I felt the friendship was over. I ended the friendship, broke off all contact. I believe in clean slates.
To be honest...I have less than 10 friends, that's being generous. Maybe 2 or 3 who I am extremely close to, even then not as close as the closest of friends, and the rest are acquaintances. And I am perfectly okay with that.
Being alone is something I'm good at. Nobody to be disappointed in me or have any expectations for me. I can be who I am.
This sounds a little sad. But I'm not sad. I am happy with my decisions, happy with who I am close to, and I am happy just being.
Have a great day, wherever you are.
xxRebeca
If you ask my parents, I've always been an independent child. I guess independent is another word for stubborn. If I didn't want to do it, I didn't do it.
Some people may call me selfish because I won't do something unless it benefits me in some way. I think all people are like that, is there such thing as a selfless person? No. People always have a reason for doing things, whether it's to make them feel like a better person or to help them gain something.
I could go days just staying in my room, writing, listening to music, or just watching YouTube videos. Call me a hermit(?).
Over the last six years I have found myself not talking to people I used to talk to because I felt the friendship was over. I ended the friendship, broke off all contact. I believe in clean slates.
To be honest...I have less than 10 friends, that's being generous. Maybe 2 or 3 who I am extremely close to, even then not as close as the closest of friends, and the rest are acquaintances. And I am perfectly okay with that.
Being alone is something I'm good at. Nobody to be disappointed in me or have any expectations for me. I can be who I am.
This sounds a little sad. But I'm not sad. I am happy with my decisions, happy with who I am close to, and I am happy just being.
Have a great day, wherever you are.
xxRebeca
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Music is the reason I write.
I can remember ever since I was little that I have always loved music. I mean, who didn't?
I grew up in a Mexican household which meant music was always playing when we woke up, when we cleaned, and especially when we had social gatherings. Spanish music always has a story to tell, they were descriptive and allowed my imagination to flow.
I kind of moved away from spanish music, and I started getting into my own music. Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears, NSYNC, and many more.
In my head, I could create stories, stories I would dream about at night. I liked to sing (even though I was terrible at it) and I liked pretending to be the lead of my stories inside my head. My imagination was wild.
The first time I wrote was after reading Twilight in middle school. I think I was in eighth grade. I wrote and wrote, at least I tried. I wrote in complete silence because that's how my neighbor wrote her amazing stories.
I wanted to write amazing stories, too. Like the ones in my head that I got while listening to music. I didn't write for a long time after that because I thought I wasn't good enough. Every story I tried to write just ended with me saving it and never looking at it again because I got blocked.
One day, while listening to Thriving Ivory, I was driving to my friends house to pick her up to go to class, I just had this story pop in my head. I remember grabbing my phone and opening the voice recording app, and I recorded myself just saying words.
I didn't really have a story. I had an idea. I still remember the words that I thought of that day. Car accident. Coma. Scarred body. College. Unhappiness. Save Me.
I could even imagine the place where the car accident happened, I had a place in my town that inspired it.
This all happened before I wrote my first book. I pushed the idea aside, and I'm glad I did because it really let me think about it for about a year. Scarlett and Ryder talked to me in dreams, they developed and finally I just had to write about them.
I wrote about them with a few songs in mind, including the song Unhappy by Thriving Ivory, one of my favorite bands.
Now I don't write without a music playlist. Music helps my imagination, it helps me write, and I absolutely love it. Sometimes I'll write a scene with one song on repeat just so I don't lose idea in my mind.
Now, talking about Scarlett and Ryder...I released Broken Pleasure last month, and I am very proud of it, though the idea of anybody reading it makes me feel ill. I did get my first review on it a few weeks ago, and you can get it here.
I hope you guys like it(:
xxRebeca
I grew up in a Mexican household which meant music was always playing when we woke up, when we cleaned, and especially when we had social gatherings. Spanish music always has a story to tell, they were descriptive and allowed my imagination to flow.
I kind of moved away from spanish music, and I started getting into my own music. Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears, NSYNC, and many more.
In my head, I could create stories, stories I would dream about at night. I liked to sing (even though I was terrible at it) and I liked pretending to be the lead of my stories inside my head. My imagination was wild.
The first time I wrote was after reading Twilight in middle school. I think I was in eighth grade. I wrote and wrote, at least I tried. I wrote in complete silence because that's how my neighbor wrote her amazing stories.
I wanted to write amazing stories, too. Like the ones in my head that I got while listening to music. I didn't write for a long time after that because I thought I wasn't good enough. Every story I tried to write just ended with me saving it and never looking at it again because I got blocked.
One day, while listening to Thriving Ivory, I was driving to my friends house to pick her up to go to class, I just had this story pop in my head. I remember grabbing my phone and opening the voice recording app, and I recorded myself just saying words.
I didn't really have a story. I had an idea. I still remember the words that I thought of that day. Car accident. Coma. Scarred body. College. Unhappiness. Save Me.
I could even imagine the place where the car accident happened, I had a place in my town that inspired it.
This all happened before I wrote my first book. I pushed the idea aside, and I'm glad I did because it really let me think about it for about a year. Scarlett and Ryder talked to me in dreams, they developed and finally I just had to write about them.
I wrote about them with a few songs in mind, including the song Unhappy by Thriving Ivory, one of my favorite bands.
Now I don't write without a music playlist. Music helps my imagination, it helps me write, and I absolutely love it. Sometimes I'll write a scene with one song on repeat just so I don't lose idea in my mind.
Now, talking about Scarlett and Ryder...I released Broken Pleasure last month, and I am very proud of it, though the idea of anybody reading it makes me feel ill. I did get my first review on it a few weeks ago, and you can get it here.
I hope you guys like it(:
xxRebeca
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
A milestone...turning 20
I turned 20 this last weekend, on Sunday to be exact.
This is it.
The end of my teen years. a moment I never thought I was even going to get to.
What am I now?
I'm no longer a teen. Not technically an adult, that's 21. It's scary, now I feel like I have a bunch of things I have to get done.
Boyfriend?
Marriage?
Children?
Real job?
I mean, this is sort of the beginning of my life, the last 20years have all been in preparation for this.
But you know what?
Fuck it.
I'm going to do what is necessary for me to be happy. Whether that be writing or finding a great guy to be with. Whatever I need to do.
Sorry that it's been two months since I wrote anything, but I promise (like I always do lol) I'm going to do my best to write more on here.
And sorry again for the shortness of this post, promise to write more soon.
Boyfriend?
Marriage?
Children?
Real job?
I mean, this is sort of the beginning of my life, the last 20years have all been in preparation for this.
But you know what?
Fuck it.
I'm going to do what is necessary for me to be happy. Whether that be writing or finding a great guy to be with. Whatever I need to do.
Sorry that it's been two months since I wrote anything, but I promise (like I always do lol) I'm going to do my best to write more on here.
And sorry again for the shortness of this post, promise to write more soon.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Inspiration
Music is where I get most of my inspiration. I know some writers HATE listening to music while writing because it makes them distracted, but not me.
I thrive from tunes coming from my headphones. Sometimes I just need something to keep me still long enough on my computer to actually write a scene. Other times, it just fits the plot so perfectly that it sends me into a frenzy to write before I can forget everything!
I have a playlist on my Spotify where I can just press shuffle and any music coming at me I can write to. If you would like to listen to that playlist, you can press here.
My music doesn't fit every scene I write, but it sure does keep me thinking about what could be.
Well, today I wrote this thing for my new book that's coming out July 12th! I'm using a new technique to write my book, first writing half of Scarlett's chapters, and then working on Ryders. This is what came from Ryder today:
I thrive from tunes coming from my headphones. Sometimes I just need something to keep me still long enough on my computer to actually write a scene. Other times, it just fits the plot so perfectly that it sends me into a frenzy to write before I can forget everything!
I have a playlist on my Spotify where I can just press shuffle and any music coming at me I can write to. If you would like to listen to that playlist, you can press here.
My music doesn't fit every scene I write, but it sure does keep me thinking about what could be.
Well, today I wrote this thing for my new book that's coming out July 12th! I'm using a new technique to write my book, first writing half of Scarlett's chapters, and then working on Ryders. This is what came from Ryder today:
“Well I have had to work hard in my life, it hasn’t always been kind to me.”
“Life making you go through obstacles is being kind to you because only those who struggle know true happiness.” Her eyes widened at my deep words.
“How can you have such a good outlook in life? Not every college senior has their life together like you.”
“Trust me, sweetheart, I don’t have my life together. I have a few pieces and for now I’m content with that.” I watched as she bit her bottom lip, thinking about what I’ve said.
“You should be a motivational speaker if being a surgeon doesn’t pan out.” I laugh.
“I’ll make a note of that.”
I hope you guys liked that, I know I enjoyed writing that. (:
Take care,
Rebeca x
Monday, January 12, 2015
To Save You is Live!
It's January 12th, and To Save You, my second book is now live! You can get it here!
I started writing this story about a month and a half ago, and I guess I wanted to incorporate a little bit of what I went through as a sixteen year old.
SPOILERS. I won't write about specifically goes on in the book, but I will write about the experiences I went through and wrote about in the book.
Depression affects millions of people everyday. I've read many stories where the guy tries to save the girl from herself, and in my story, what makes it different, is that he can't save her. Mathew admits that he can't do it alone.
I remember being sixteen, and I had spent the last few years just tangling people into my web of lies. A lot of my friends knew I hurt myself, but nobody said one thing because I had manipulated them into thinking it was nothing. I just liked cutting myself, and it relieved stress. I made them think, well, as long as she's not trying to kill herself, she's fine.
I surrounded myself with the wrong people. I was so unhappy, and there was nothing I could do to bring myself out of it sometimes.
Presley had tried to kill herself one time, but she instantly regretted doing what she did. I took that from a real life experience.
I was probably twelve or thirteen, I remember that I was in middle school. I had gotten into a fight with my mother, it was summer, and I didn't want to go back to school. I just thought everything would be better if I was gone.
I took Excedrin, these migraine pills, and I took about a third of the bottle. I laid down on my bed, ready to die. Then something clicked in my head. Dying wasn't the answer.
I started to throw it all up. It took a few days, but eventually I started to feel better. I never told anyone about my almost overdose, they just thought I was really sick. It was the scariest time of my life, and I was twelve!
Another thing I wrote about that happened in my life, it was religious parents. My parents are religious, especially my mom.
I was raised a Catholic, went to church, but around eight years old, I started to question faith. Whether you believe in God or believe in nothing, that's your choice, I won't judge you.
I felt religion was being shoved down my throat. That's when I stopped going to church, I would throw temper tantrums, and my parents would leave me at home. I know it crushed them that I was no longer going, but I had made my choice.
I know a lot of friends that have gone through this. Whether it be going through it as an eight year old, or a eighteen year old.
Now I am a healthy 19 and a half year old! (today is my half birthday)! I wrote this book as a tribute to all those broken people out there, even the healed people.
You have to fix yourself and love yourself before you can start loving anybody else. No one can save you but yourself.
I hope you guys enjoy the book, I worked really hard on it.
xxRebeca
I started writing this story about a month and a half ago, and I guess I wanted to incorporate a little bit of what I went through as a sixteen year old.
SPOILERS. I won't write about specifically goes on in the book, but I will write about the experiences I went through and wrote about in the book.
Depression affects millions of people everyday. I've read many stories where the guy tries to save the girl from herself, and in my story, what makes it different, is that he can't save her. Mathew admits that he can't do it alone.
I remember being sixteen, and I had spent the last few years just tangling people into my web of lies. A lot of my friends knew I hurt myself, but nobody said one thing because I had manipulated them into thinking it was nothing. I just liked cutting myself, and it relieved stress. I made them think, well, as long as she's not trying to kill herself, she's fine.
I surrounded myself with the wrong people. I was so unhappy, and there was nothing I could do to bring myself out of it sometimes.
Presley had tried to kill herself one time, but she instantly regretted doing what she did. I took that from a real life experience.
I was probably twelve or thirteen, I remember that I was in middle school. I had gotten into a fight with my mother, it was summer, and I didn't want to go back to school. I just thought everything would be better if I was gone.
I took Excedrin, these migraine pills, and I took about a third of the bottle. I laid down on my bed, ready to die. Then something clicked in my head. Dying wasn't the answer.
I started to throw it all up. It took a few days, but eventually I started to feel better. I never told anyone about my almost overdose, they just thought I was really sick. It was the scariest time of my life, and I was twelve!
Another thing I wrote about that happened in my life, it was religious parents. My parents are religious, especially my mom.
I was raised a Catholic, went to church, but around eight years old, I started to question faith. Whether you believe in God or believe in nothing, that's your choice, I won't judge you.
I felt religion was being shoved down my throat. That's when I stopped going to church, I would throw temper tantrums, and my parents would leave me at home. I know it crushed them that I was no longer going, but I had made my choice.
I know a lot of friends that have gone through this. Whether it be going through it as an eight year old, or a eighteen year old.
Now I am a healthy 19 and a half year old! (today is my half birthday)! I wrote this book as a tribute to all those broken people out there, even the healed people.
You have to fix yourself and love yourself before you can start loving anybody else. No one can save you but yourself.
I hope you guys enjoy the book, I worked really hard on it.
xxRebeca
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, good things are to come...
Hello readers! Sorry that I've been a little MIA these past few months, so many things have been happening in my life, I just forgot to blog. Don't worry though, I'm back, and I'm going to my best to upload a post every week, maybe sometimes twice a week!? I don't know, it's going to be a new year in seven days, and we're just going to see what happens.
First things first, Merry Christmas and if you don't celebrate Christmas, happy holidays! And a happy new year...
2015 is just around the corner and I just have this feeling inside my gut that it's going to be a really great year.
So I'm going to catch you up a bit on what's been going on since October...
1. I published a book through Amazon KDP publishing, it's an ebook and if you'd like to grab it, you can get it right here! It is 99 cents, and I really hope you guys like it.
2. I saw my favorite band TwentyOnePilots. I can't even tell you how excited I was about it! I remember crying at one point. They were so good, also saw MisterWives, and they were amazing as well. I'm hoping to see them in March, so fingers crossed!
3. I saw Aaron Carter live with one of my best friends from Iowa! I drove down to Joliet, Mojoes, and then we slept over her grandmothers house, who by the way makes the best eggs and bacon. Usually I don't like eggs, but I can never get enough of them at her house.
4. I went to my friends grandmothers house for Thanksgiving, and I had to learn how to drive on the express way, which is freaking terrifying, but at one point I was going 80-100 mph. I also only got lost for half an hour, compared to other times, that was not as bad! haha
5. Oh! I got contact. I still wear my glasses only when I have to go somewhere in a hurry, but I've been wearing contacts, and I'm really excited about them.
6. I got a new laptop, I invested in a Macbook Air, and I just have to say that it is the best thing to buy. It's just so light and so easy to use. I still have my Dell, which I love dearly and have tons of stories on.
7. Speaking of stories, I'm almost finished with my second book! (: It is called To Save You, and it's based on the brother of the girl in the first book. You'll get some answers to In Your Arms, and things are very suspenseful i think. You can preorder it here! It is 1.99, and it comes out January 31st, maybe a bit sooner if I can finish it soon and quickly.
Well, I think that's it, I hope you guys are excited about the upcoming year just like I am. Enjoy your holidays!
xxRebeca
First things first, Merry Christmas and if you don't celebrate Christmas, happy holidays! And a happy new year...
2015 is just around the corner and I just have this feeling inside my gut that it's going to be a really great year.
So I'm going to catch you up a bit on what's been going on since October...
1. I published a book through Amazon KDP publishing, it's an ebook and if you'd like to grab it, you can get it right here! It is 99 cents, and I really hope you guys like it.
2. I saw my favorite band TwentyOnePilots. I can't even tell you how excited I was about it! I remember crying at one point. They were so good, also saw MisterWives, and they were amazing as well. I'm hoping to see them in March, so fingers crossed!
3. I saw Aaron Carter live with one of my best friends from Iowa! I drove down to Joliet, Mojoes, and then we slept over her grandmothers house, who by the way makes the best eggs and bacon. Usually I don't like eggs, but I can never get enough of them at her house.
4. I went to my friends grandmothers house for Thanksgiving, and I had to learn how to drive on the express way, which is freaking terrifying, but at one point I was going 80-100 mph. I also only got lost for half an hour, compared to other times, that was not as bad! haha
5. Oh! I got contact. I still wear my glasses only when I have to go somewhere in a hurry, but I've been wearing contacts, and I'm really excited about them.
6. I got a new laptop, I invested in a Macbook Air, and I just have to say that it is the best thing to buy. It's just so light and so easy to use. I still have my Dell, which I love dearly and have tons of stories on.
7. Speaking of stories, I'm almost finished with my second book! (: It is called To Save You, and it's based on the brother of the girl in the first book. You'll get some answers to In Your Arms, and things are very suspenseful i think. You can preorder it here! It is 1.99, and it comes out January 31st, maybe a bit sooner if I can finish it soon and quickly.
Well, I think that's it, I hope you guys are excited about the upcoming year just like I am. Enjoy your holidays!
xxRebeca
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Paying It Forward
I'm a big believer of doing everything you can to help someone and putting good thoughts, feelings, and actions out into the world.
I grew up in lower middle class, at one point in my life, I remember living in a basement with cockroaches and mice, and it wasn't our first home with those problems. I know what it's like to want something, but not asking for it because my parent's cannot afford it, even though they would do their best to give me what I want.
When I moved to the town that I live in now, I remember feeling left out. Sure we lived in a house, but I felt like that girl who came from a poor neighborhood all the time. I never really had dolls, I got my first doll when I was about nine, or something, and it was a Bratz doll, and I wanted it because my neighbor had a ton.
Over the years, I've learned to appreciate what I have. I often travel to Downtown Chicago, and I used to get sad all the time from seeing homeless people. I still get sad, but now I've chosen to do something about it.
I always carry a lot of spare change in my bag, mostly because I hate using it and it just accumilates. Every time I go to Chicago, I just give it to homeless people.
I know some of you may say that, I don't know if these people are going to buy drugs for themselves, or what they're going to do with the money they get. That's true, but I have faith in people.
Also, I often eat out in Chicago, and sometimes I get food at the train station or on the way to the train station. I always buy extra, and I give out food to the homeless.
It's always rewarding to see how happy they get when I offer them food. That's one way to ensure they're not going to spend the money on something bad.
What inspired me to write this post today was this video
It represents how one action can influence another action, and it can just keep going and going. Paying it forward. It really doesn't matter how big or small this action is, it's just the fact that you do something to keep it going.
I hope this put a little light in your day. Enjoy your Tuesday.
-Rebeca x
I grew up in lower middle class, at one point in my life, I remember living in a basement with cockroaches and mice, and it wasn't our first home with those problems. I know what it's like to want something, but not asking for it because my parent's cannot afford it, even though they would do their best to give me what I want.
When I moved to the town that I live in now, I remember feeling left out. Sure we lived in a house, but I felt like that girl who came from a poor neighborhood all the time. I never really had dolls, I got my first doll when I was about nine, or something, and it was a Bratz doll, and I wanted it because my neighbor had a ton.
Over the years, I've learned to appreciate what I have. I often travel to Downtown Chicago, and I used to get sad all the time from seeing homeless people. I still get sad, but now I've chosen to do something about it.
I always carry a lot of spare change in my bag, mostly because I hate using it and it just accumilates. Every time I go to Chicago, I just give it to homeless people.
I know some of you may say that, I don't know if these people are going to buy drugs for themselves, or what they're going to do with the money they get. That's true, but I have faith in people.
Also, I often eat out in Chicago, and sometimes I get food at the train station or on the way to the train station. I always buy extra, and I give out food to the homeless.
It's always rewarding to see how happy they get when I offer them food. That's one way to ensure they're not going to spend the money on something bad.
What inspired me to write this post today was this video
It represents how one action can influence another action, and it can just keep going and going. Paying it forward. It really doesn't matter how big or small this action is, it's just the fact that you do something to keep it going.
I hope this put a little light in your day. Enjoy your Tuesday.
-Rebeca x
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
October Photo Challenge
Today me and my friend Myriam were talking earlier and we decided to make up a photo a day challenge for October since Fall is our favorite season! We came up with ideas and we'd be happy to see others do it as well. It doesn't have to go in order, feel free to change it up and make it your own!
Follow us on instagram: MyriamHarveyy
beckylove64
We'll be posting our photo a day challenge on there! Hope you enjoy (:
Sunday, September 7, 2014
50 Facts About Me
Good afternoon readers!
It's Sunday and I've spent half my day just watching YouTube videos, and I was trying to think of an idea for a blog post. Finally, I managed to get to Katie Joslin's YouTube and I saw she recently posted a video listing 50 facts about herself, and I thought it would be a fun way to get to know me! Do subscribe to Katie, she is awesome and I really love her channel!
Enjoy!
It's Sunday and I've spent half my day just watching YouTube videos, and I was trying to think of an idea for a blog post. Finally, I managed to get to Katie Joslin's YouTube and I saw she recently posted a video listing 50 facts about herself, and I thought it would be a fun way to get to know me! Do subscribe to Katie, she is awesome and I really love her channel!
Enjoy!
- My name is Rebeca
- I'm 19
- I graduated high school in 2013
- I used to be part of a social media street team called the A-Team (not named after Ed Sheeran's song). I would spend countless hours tweeting and spreading word of upcoming artists, and it's where I met some of my closest friends (TOMI)
- When I was in 6th grade I won tickets to a Chris Brown concert and I went even though I did not know more than three songs of his.
- In January, I won tickets to see Fall Out Boy and Paramore in concert, it was amazing cause it was like a birthday present since my birthday was the next day after the concert.
- For two years I suffered with intense stomach pains, got constantly misdiagnosed, and turns out it was gallstones the size of golf balls. I am no longer a proud owner of a gall bladder.
- I'm obsessed with music, I will spend countless hours on itunes searching for new music or new artists, or if I hear a song on a TV show, I will shazam it and learn everything I can about the song and the artist.
- I suffer with Bipolar disorder type 1, and I have severe anxiety. It's really hard for me to keep friends because I get really irritated, and I will come up with reasons as to why I no longer want to be friends with them and I will cut off all contact.
- I love Big Brother.
- I've met Selena Gomez!
- I once waiting twelve hours outside a venue for a 5SOS concert. Five words: Freezing cold and worth it.
- I saw One Direction and 5SOS at Soldier Field in August!
- I plan to be a writer.
- I am currently a hundred pages into my novel... (:
- I truly believe in doing something you love. I quit my job at a retail store because I was so depressed and it was an abusive environment.
- I am really good at doing hairstyles, I did my hair for prom along with my friends hair.
- Braids are my specialty! I learned how to french braid in physics class, I sat all the way in the back with my friend, and I would just do her hair until it came out like I wanted it to.
- My longest friendship has lasted about 11 years or so.
- I became close friends with my bully in sixth grade, she would pick on me, but I would also get revenge. It was a love hate relationship.
- I've never had a boyfriend.
- I don't want kids, I've never seen myself as the mother type. But I love my little niece Sophie!
- I'm an atheist.
- If I have something to do like go somewhere to get something, I will spend days getting ready and planning everything out.
- The worst feeling in the world for me is when my legs fall asleep.
- I love concerts, but recently with my anxiety worsening, I have to be a bit far away from the crowd because I will start panicking.
- My favorite show of all time would have to be How I Met Your Mother, but it's close with Grey's Anatomy.
- I cry with emotional movies or shows or trailers or videos! But other than that, I'm usually a composed person.
- I'm obsessed with serial killers, when I was going into my senior year, we got to talk to an ex police chief who helped catch John Wayne Gacy, the highlight of my summer.
- I didn't learn to drive until August 20th, 2013. I was terrified of the road and honestly, I hate being in control.
- I got my license October 1st. Couple of days later, I drove all the way to downtown Chicago to go meet YouTubers.
- I've met O2L, Andrea Russett, Anna Russett, and Jennxpenn, Ryan Beatty, MKTO, The Summer Set, The Cab, Paradise Fears, Rocky Loves Emily, and Frankie Grande
- In 2012, I think, I met my friend Jack, a drummer who I had subscribed to on YouTube, at a Ryan Beatty concert. Later, I convinced him to get on Twitter!
- I thank @TheDylanHolland for introducing me to my best friend three years ago via twitter!
- My favorite bands right now are Misterwives and TwentyOnePilots.
- I will be seeing both those bands in October.
- When I was home sick, Willow Shields, AKA PRIMROSE EVERDEEN, tweeted me to feel better.
- In June I met one of my friends from the UK, and it was a surreal experience!
- Also in June, I also made the transition from Samsung Galaxy to the iPhone. I love my phone.
- My favorite movie is ALL OF THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES.
- I love reading.
- I have over 300 books in my kindle, um, no I have not read them all, most of them were free.I have an obsession.
- First book that ever caught my attention was To Kill A Mockingbird
- First book that I read outside of the classroom that caught my attention was Perfect Chemistry, the Wake Series, or The Hunger Games series, my teacher recommended them all to me.
- In my Lit Seminar my senior year, I finished all my assignments in about three weeks, it was a reading class and I read fifteen books in that class. This was also around the time I got my Kindle.
- I never really ate McDonalds until I was like eleven. My parents hated eating out, so it was a treat when we would go to any fast food restaurant.
- I love Hot Cheetohs, I will never quit them.
- I hate ketchup and mayo, and salad dressing. I'm the pickiest person ever.
- I once forced myself to try and train myself to eat and like mayonnaise on my sandwiches. I threw up three days later.
- Lastly, I'm allergic to seafood.
I hope you guys liked this! It was fun having to try to come up with things, there were a lot of things I forgot, haha.
Have a good day!
-Rebeca
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Four Seconds To Lose by K.A. Tucker
A few days ago, I finished this book. I suffer from severe insomnia, so I usually start reading on my phone, kindle, or just grab an actual book when I can't sleep or get back to sleep.
I had been stuck on Four Seconds to Lose for a few weeks now, and I was about a third into it, so when I woke up at 3 in the morning for no reason, I began to read it. Suddenly it was 7 in the morning, I had to start getting ready so I could get to my summer class on time at my local community college, and I had sixty pages left! I should have felt a need to finish it right away, I was rushing home!
I was freaking out. But I did what I always do when I'm in love with a good book, and judge me, I sure do, I stopped reading for a day! I don't know why I do it, but I did. Once I had a free afternoon, I began to read it again. I was literally screaming when I reached the end (Don't judge, I'm sure I'm not the only one who does that in their home).
K.A. Tucker always keeps me on my toes, I seriously don't know what to expect or if I should even trust my instincts. Usually, I'm wrong, haha.
So this would be my first official review, and I hope you guys like it.
Owning a strip club isn’t the fantasy most guys expect it to be. With long hours, a staff with enough issues to keep a psych ward in business, and the police regularly on his case, twenty-nine-year-old Cain is starting to second guess his unspoken mission to save the women he employs. And then blond, brown-eyed Charlie Rourke walks through his door, and things get really complicated. Cain abides by a strict “no sleeping with the staff” rule. But being around Charlie challenges Cain’s self-control…and it’s been a long time since any woman has done that.
Twenty-two-year-old Charlie Rourke needs a lot of money, really fast, in order to vanish before it’s too late. Taking her clothes off for men makes her stomach curl but Charlie tells herself that at least she’s putting her acting and dancing skills to good use. And though her fellow dancers seem eager to nab their sexy, sophisticated, and genuinely caring boss, she’s not interested. After all, Charlie Rourke doesn’t really exist—and the girl pretending to be her can't get distracted by romance.
Unfortunately, Charlie soon discovers that developing feelings for Cain is inevitable, and that those feelings may not be unrequited—but losing him when he finds out what she’s involved with will be more painful than any other sentence awaiting her.
This is the third book I've read from K.A. Tucker, and it has all the lovely characters from the past two books. Of course, Charlie Rourke is a new one.
Charlie grew up with her stepfather Sam, and he's not such a nice guy. He's involved Charlie in something bad, and she is going to run. Just one little problem...she needs money.
Come in Cain. He gives her a job at Penny's and their attraction towards each other is very hard to hide! I felt so giddy as I read on and I was rooting for them.
I think my favorite quote was:
I believe second chances exist only in dreams, never in reality.
I believe you don't have years, or months, or weeks to impact a person's life.
You have seconds.
Seconds to win them over, And seconds to lose them.”
It just speaks truths. K.A. Tucker is a writing genius!
This book is about secrets and the past, Cain and Charlie have such horrible pasts and they both suffer immensely. They have trouble feeling good about themselves, but when they're together...the world is right. Forgiveness of someone elses faults and forgiveness for their own faults is a really big theme.
This book will keep you on your toes, and will make your heart swell and break and then swell again!
I hope you guys will read it and love it just like I did! K.A. Tucker is a an amazing author, and her writing style with these books is unique, and one I appreciated.
-Rebeca
I had been stuck on Four Seconds to Lose for a few weeks now, and I was about a third into it, so when I woke up at 3 in the morning for no reason, I began to read it. Suddenly it was 7 in the morning, I had to start getting ready so I could get to my summer class on time at my local community college, and I had sixty pages left! I should have felt a need to finish it right away, I was rushing home!
I was freaking out. But I did what I always do when I'm in love with a good book, and judge me, I sure do, I stopped reading for a day! I don't know why I do it, but I did. Once I had a free afternoon, I began to read it again. I was literally screaming when I reached the end (Don't judge, I'm sure I'm not the only one who does that in their home).
K.A. Tucker always keeps me on my toes, I seriously don't know what to expect or if I should even trust my instincts. Usually, I'm wrong, haha.
So this would be my first official review, and I hope you guys like it.
Owning a strip club isn’t the fantasy most guys expect it to be. With long hours, a staff with enough issues to keep a psych ward in business, and the police regularly on his case, twenty-nine-year-old Cain is starting to second guess his unspoken mission to save the women he employs. And then blond, brown-eyed Charlie Rourke walks through his door, and things get really complicated. Cain abides by a strict “no sleeping with the staff” rule. But being around Charlie challenges Cain’s self-control…and it’s been a long time since any woman has done that.
Twenty-two-year-old Charlie Rourke needs a lot of money, really fast, in order to vanish before it’s too late. Taking her clothes off for men makes her stomach curl but Charlie tells herself that at least she’s putting her acting and dancing skills to good use. And though her fellow dancers seem eager to nab their sexy, sophisticated, and genuinely caring boss, she’s not interested. After all, Charlie Rourke doesn’t really exist—and the girl pretending to be her can't get distracted by romance.
Unfortunately, Charlie soon discovers that developing feelings for Cain is inevitable, and that those feelings may not be unrequited—but losing him when he finds out what she’s involved with will be more painful than any other sentence awaiting her.
This is the third book I've read from K.A. Tucker, and it has all the lovely characters from the past two books. Of course, Charlie Rourke is a new one.
Charlie grew up with her stepfather Sam, and he's not such a nice guy. He's involved Charlie in something bad, and she is going to run. Just one little problem...she needs money.
Come in Cain. He gives her a job at Penny's and their attraction towards each other is very hard to hide! I felt so giddy as I read on and I was rooting for them.
I think my favorite quote was:
I believe second chances exist only in dreams, never in reality.
I believe you don't have years, or months, or weeks to impact a person's life.
You have seconds.
Seconds to win them over, And seconds to lose them.”
It just speaks truths. K.A. Tucker is a writing genius!
This book is about secrets and the past, Cain and Charlie have such horrible pasts and they both suffer immensely. They have trouble feeling good about themselves, but when they're together...the world is right. Forgiveness of someone elses faults and forgiveness for their own faults is a really big theme.
This book will keep you on your toes, and will make your heart swell and break and then swell again!
I hope you guys will read it and love it just like I did! K.A. Tucker is a an amazing author, and her writing style with these books is unique, and one I appreciated.
-Rebeca
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Life Ruiners
"Why would she do that?"
"Because she's a life ruiner, she ruins peoples lives."
I have this thought every time I read someones book. I swear EVERY TIME I GET TO THE CLIMAX OF A BOOK.
Mean Girls is so relatable even when it isn't.
So on Thursday, June 26th, one of my favorite authors K.A. Tucker came by the Book Cellar (Chicago) and had a meet and greet. She was seriously so nice. It was a fun experience and I picked up her fourth book Five Ways to Fall <3. I'm still on her third book Four Seconds To Lose, and seriously I can't.
I love her books DON'T GET ME WRONG, but they just kill me. I seriously cry and scream while reading, and I'm pretty sure my mom is one outburst away from institutionalizing me. I'm being very serious.
K.A. Tucker isn't the only author I've fallen victim to though. There is Abbi Glines, John Green, Gayle Forman, Sara Wolf, J. Lynn, Marata Eros, Jessica Sorensen, Komal Kant, Colleen Hoover, Bennett Madison, and Autumn Doughton, just to name a few life ruiners.
Every single one of those authors have caused me to seriously re-evaluate my life when it comes to reading. Reading has become bittersweet. What am I saying, I love it.
I love the emotion that each book brings out of me. I love that even though this book can break me, it can also make me laugh and smile.
I also scream out good things and I get all excited for the characters.
It's knowing what feelings these books bring out in me that seriously makes me want to become a serious writer. I want to do what those authors do. Write and have people feel a million different things while reading.
So I want to dedicate this blog to those life ruiners, I will be writing reviews on books that ruin my life and lets see where this takes me. (:
-Rebeca
"Because she's a life ruiner, she ruins peoples lives."
I have this thought every time I read someones book. I swear EVERY TIME I GET TO THE CLIMAX OF A BOOK.
Mean Girls is so relatable even when it isn't.
So on Thursday, June 26th, one of my favorite authors K.A. Tucker came by the Book Cellar (Chicago) and had a meet and greet. She was seriously so nice. It was a fun experience and I picked up her fourth book Five Ways to Fall <3. I'm still on her third book Four Seconds To Lose, and seriously I can't.
I love her books DON'T GET ME WRONG, but they just kill me. I seriously cry and scream while reading, and I'm pretty sure my mom is one outburst away from institutionalizing me. I'm being very serious.
K.A. Tucker isn't the only author I've fallen victim to though. There is Abbi Glines, John Green, Gayle Forman, Sara Wolf, J. Lynn, Marata Eros, Jessica Sorensen, Komal Kant, Colleen Hoover, Bennett Madison, and Autumn Doughton, just to name a few life ruiners.
Every single one of those authors have caused me to seriously re-evaluate my life when it comes to reading. Reading has become bittersweet. What am I saying, I love it.
I love the emotion that each book brings out of me. I love that even though this book can break me, it can also make me laugh and smile.
I also scream out good things and I get all excited for the characters.
It's knowing what feelings these books bring out in me that seriously makes me want to become a serious writer. I want to do what those authors do. Write and have people feel a million different things while reading.
So I want to dedicate this blog to those life ruiners, I will be writing reviews on books that ruin my life and lets see where this takes me. (:
-Rebeca
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