2016 & Resolutions.

Hello Everyone! It's the second day of 2016. Which is insane because I could have sworn we were just starting 2015!

Here's a recap on what happened in 2015 for me:

• I got promoted at work (Many raises$$(I love my job, don't just do it for the money))
• Released my second book called To Save You!
• Did taxes for the first time by myself!
• Bought my first Polaroid (:
• Had a new niece named Vanessa!
• Saw and met Halsey! Along with camped out on the freezing ground and also saw Sam Miller from Paradise Fears there.
• Became obsessed with the sky. Check out my instagram for the pictures I manage to capture!
• Got my first tattoo!! They're blackbirds, maybe I'll write a post about them soon and what they mean to me. (:
• Turned 20! And had a lot of fun on my birthday with friends and family<3
• Had a fun day playing with my coworkers when the power went out. Which included singing, playing soccer, throwing a football, and drinking Slushees.
• Wrote my third book.
• Released my third book called Broken Pleasure!
• Got my first review!
• Wrote my fourth book.
• Released the fourth book! It's called Broken Perfectly!
• Became friends with authors<3
• Read some really good books! Which I will also be making a post about my favorites.
• Was a Zombie for halloween!
• Opened the store for the first time by myself!
• Started writing my fifth book!(;

Now it's 2016 which means another 366(Leap year) days for 366 new adventures. Not every single day will be exciting, but I will do my best to keep to my resolutions, and have fun, and not stress out as much.

Here are some of my resolutions for the new year!:

• Give up soda entirely. Not caffeine, I can't do it without my occasional teas, plus I don't drink coffee or energy drinks because it makes my stomach upset.
• Start a YouTube channel where I want to weekly vlog.
• Get more people to notice my writing.
• Release a thriller/mystery novel.
• Travel to New York and LA, or Oregon, or Seattle. Maybe even Utah. Or the UK. Just travel! Already planning a trip for my 21st birthday in July!
• Get a new car! It can be used, but just something a little better than my 2000 Ford Focus that is always breaking down and has trouble on the snow.
• Go to a book convention!
• Create more connections in the book world.
• Take a road trip.
• Take more photos of the sky!
• Take photos when I'm with friends, family, or just alone. Take photos and document this year.
• Love.
• Be Happy.
• Be more charitable (already have a few plans for that).
• Be present.
• Eat healthier.
• Give up fast food entirely by the end of the year. Or make it only a treat like one a month.
• Try new foods. I took this quiz on buzzfeed, and I only eat 30 of the 90 foods listed. I am the pickiest of eaters.
• Say yes!
• Keep my car clean.
• Do one thing that scares me everyday.
• Get help for my anxiety.
• Write a few more novels.
• Save money.

And the last thing is a resolution many people have. To exercise. To lose weight.

I am currently very unhappy with the way I look, and with what I weigh. My eating habits are horrendous from barely eating one day to binging the next. And it doesn't make me feel good and I'm sick.
Literally sick. All the time. I can pretend I'm fine, but I can feel my health declining and it's not a good feeling.
I've been a member at a gym for the last six months, but have only gone once. And I was in the hospital yesterday. Since april, I've lost six pounds. Not a lot, nothing at all, but it kind of gave me the push, and the will to say...I can do this.
I want to lose 100 pounds by the end of the year. Thats 365 days from now. I won't beat myself up if I don't make it there. If I can get to under 200 pounds, I will be happy with myself because it's been 3 years since I was that weight.
It's time to put my gym membership to good use. Time to face reality. Time to make some progress, and just stop putting it off and lying to myself.

Anyway, I hope you guys had a good start to the New Year. Make the best of it. <3

-Rebeca xx

Another car incident...

It officially feels like winter. Tomorrow will be day two of severe cold conditions, everything is freezing and no one wants to even go outside to warm up their car.

So...it snowed on Monday night..I guess. I had two days off, and I usually just get as much sleep as I possibly can because I work for three days straight for seven hours every night, and then I don't go to bed until four, then I wake up early to get ready for work.

Anyway, back to my story.

I had driven to my friends house, and I realized that my car was sliding whenever I would drive over snow. This is my second year driving in the winter, and I thought "Well, I'm a pro now, I can handle everything."

HAHAHA. Big fucking mistake.

We went to the mall where I went to get my second cartilage piercing, and I was driving back to drop my friend off.

That's when everything went to shit. First of all, I could barely see in front of me because my liquid that cleans my windshield wiper was completely frozen and would only throw out small spurts of it on the windshield, not enough to clean it.

Second, I had to go through suicide circle, this roundabout where I live. I was fine, and I even made it past it before I had to do this small curved turn.

That's when I lost complete control of my car, and to be honest I don't really remember it. All I could remember was that I didn't want to hit these two poles.

There was one pole that I was trying to avoid, and while trying to avoid it, my car slid onto the curb and I almost hit the big pole, you know, the ones with all the wires coming out of it, connected to other big poles?

But my car stopped. Thank god.

I never felt such relief. Then the panic began to set in. I was not going to die, and we were fine, but now my car was stuck in the middle of a snow pile. Halfway in the snow, halfway on the street.

I thought I was going to have to call the police, get somebody to pull it out with a tow truck. We were getting ready to call my friends brother to come help us when this kind stranger came up to my window, his wife or girlfriend saw the whole thing go down.

He asked if I needed help, they had watched me struggle trying to get out of the snow pile. I was pressing the gas pedal in reverse, but my car wasn't budging.

I got out of the car, and let him figure out how to get my car out. I watched for a few minutes, and he had managed to get it halfway out, but I was still pretty stuck.

He told me to get back in my car and press the pedal in reverse and he was going to push. I did as told, and WAHLAA(?)! My car reversed out into the street.

I thanked him, and then he literally went off in his car. I wish I could have thanked him properly with like free pizza, I work in a pizzeria, or something.

That was how my Tuesday went. Now I'm sitting all cuddled up in my blankets because it's negative two outside, probably four now, and the wind chill is like negative fifteen.

I hate winter.

Stay safe out there you guys.

xxRebeca

Sexual assault is not okay.

There has been buzz going around Sam Pepper's latest video (which has now been taken down from YouTube). If you didn't see the video, it is of Sam Pepper, pretending to have his hands in his pockets (has a big hoodie on) and when the girl turns around to give him directions, he pinches their butts and pretends it's not him.
The girls look confused and a bit horrified that someone touched them, I know I would be. Some of them laugh it off, but you could see that they were clearly uncomfortable. Those advances were unwanted.
Some people bring up the point that the girls laughed, they understood it was a joke, and obviously they were okay with it. Laughing about it doesn't mean anything! I laugh at the most inappropriate times, and I laugh when I am uncomfortable. Laughing doesn't mean that it was okay to do that to someone.
Sam Pepper has 2.4 MILLION subscribers, and unfortunately this isn't the first time he sexually harasses someone on camera in public. There have been kissing "pranks", lasso "pranks". Notice I put prank in quotation marks because it's not a prank. It isn't funny to the victims of his pranks.
Sex Educator Laci Green wrote an open letter to Sam Pepper, and many fellow YouTuber's responded, wanting to be a part of it. The community has spoken that this is not okay for people to do and make a profit from.
If you want to read the letter, you can press right here. Over 60+ YouTubers have signed this letter addressing Sam, and there have been over 80K reblogs on Tumblr. Sam Pepper is now disinvited from VidCon and Playlist Live.
There have been video responses like JamesChats (he does a great job addressing this) and many more calling Sam out, and I am glad because he should never be able to get away with this, no one in general should EVER get away with it.
If you are a victim of sexual assault, report it or talk to someone, I highly encourage you. It is never okay for someone to touch you without your consent, you are a person and you have rights.
Thanks for reading this guys, Go TEAM INTERNET!
-Rebeca x

How I Met Your Mother...

I understand this post is 6 months too late, but it's that time of year that all the shows come back on air and I got to thinking about one of my favorite shows to have ever air...How I Met Your Mother. I thought about how it will never come back on CBS, and how I'm so going to binge watch it on Netflix until my eyes are swollen shut from all the crying.

That will be me.
How I Met Your Mother has changed my life. I was sixteen when I started to watch it, I caught it on the hospital TV when I was there for a week for surgery. It was on very late, but from what I saw it was funny and emotional and raw.
It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I really got into it, it was also around the time I got Netflix!
Although I wasn't the age these characters were, I found myself relating to them on many levels. The episode where Lily applies to an art school, and then takes the scholarship, she reminds me so much of me and others.
I'm 19 now and I have no idea what I want to do. I will be dead set on a path, up until I get to the point where I actually have to go through with it. Then I will get worried. Have I taken enough risks in life, or have I played it safe? The next quote is life because I think almost everyone has this moment where they think this.
"Lily: OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not. And dammit, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this; my life, my relationship, my career, mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?"
Just take that all in because it will make sense.
I never wanted that… Of course, it’s one thing not to want something; it’s another to be told you can’t have it. I guess it’s just nice knowing that you could someday do it if you change your mind. But now, all of a sudden, that door is closed. Robin
Just reading this quote, it doesn't mention something specific but something comes to mind when you read this.
Robin is talking about having children, it's when she's learned that she can't have any children...ever. 
I cried during this episode. I understood what Robin was thinking, I am not infertile, but if I ever want to have children, it will be extremely difficult. I don't want children, I've never seen myself as the mother-type, but like Robin, it was comforting to know that if I ever changed my mind...

You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be. It doesn’t work that way.

Lily 

True that Lily. We have to go through certain things to get where we are going and everything happens for a reason.

There were a lot of life lessons in HIMYM. It was like a teacher for me and boy did I learn a lot. Here are just a few things I learned...

“But, love doesn’t make sense … You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do. I know that sounds cheesy but it’s just true.”

You will be shocked kids when you’ll discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you wanna keep around, you do something about it.

Future Ted

This is where I'll  leave you, I hope you guys enjoy this post. (:

Four Seconds To Lose by K.A. Tucker

A few days ago, I finished this book. I suffer from severe insomnia, so I usually start reading on my phone, kindle, or just grab an actual book when I can't sleep or get back to sleep.

I had been stuck on Four Seconds to Lose for a few weeks now, and I was about a third into it, so when I woke up at 3 in the morning for no reason, I began to read it. Suddenly it was 7 in the morning, I had to start getting ready so I could get to my summer class on time at my local community college, and I had sixty pages left! I should have felt a need to finish it right away, I was rushing home!


I was freaking out. But I did what I always do when I'm in love with a good book, and judge me, I sure do, I stopped reading for a day! I don't know why I do it, but I did. Once I had a free afternoon, I began to read it again. I was literally screaming when I reached the end (Don't judge, I'm sure I'm not the only one who does that in their home).

K.A. Tucker always keeps me on my toes, I seriously don't know what to expect or if I should even trust my instincts. Usually, I'm wrong, haha.
So this would be my first official review, and I hope you guys like it.

Owning a strip club isn’t the fantasy most guys expect it to be. With long hours, a staff with enough issues to keep a psych ward in business, and the police regularly on his case, twenty-nine-year-old Cain is starting to second guess his unspoken mission to save the women he employs. And then blond, brown-eyed Charlie Rourke walks through his door, and things get really complicated. Cain abides by a strict “no sleeping with the staff” rule. But being around Charlie challenges Cain’s self-control…and it’s been a long time since any woman has done that. 

Twenty-two-year-old Charlie Rourke needs a lot of money, really fast, in order to vanish before it’s too late. Taking her clothes off for men makes her stomach curl but Charlie tells herself that at least she’s putting her acting and dancing skills to good use. And though her fellow dancers seem eager to nab their sexy, sophisticated, and genuinely caring boss, she’s not interested. After all, Charlie Rourke doesn’t really exist—and the girl pretending to be her can't get distracted by romance.

Unfortunately, Charlie soon discovers that developing feelings for Cain is inevitable, and that those feelings may not be unrequited—but losing him when he finds out what she’s involved with will be more painful than any other sentence awaiting her.

This is the third book I've read from K.A. Tucker, and it has all the lovely characters from the past two books. Of course, Charlie Rourke is a new one.
Charlie grew up with her stepfather Sam, and he's not such a nice guy. He's involved Charlie in something bad, and she is going to run. Just one little problem...she needs money.
Come in Cain. He gives her a job at Penny's and their attraction towards each other is very hard to hide! I felt so giddy as I read on and I was rooting for them.
I think my favorite quote was:
I believe second chances exist only in dreams, never in reality.
I believe you don't have years, or months, or weeks to impact a person's life.
You have seconds.
Seconds to win them over, And seconds to lose them.”
It just speaks truths. K.A. Tucker is a writing genius!

This book is about secrets and the past, Cain and Charlie have such horrible pasts and they both suffer immensely. They have trouble feeling good about themselves, but when they're together...the world is right. Forgiveness of someone elses faults and forgiveness for their own faults is a really big theme.
This book will keep you on your toes, and will make your heart swell and break and then swell again!


I hope you guys will read it and love it just like I did! K.A. Tucker is a an amazing author, and her writing style with these books is unique, and one I appreciated.

-Rebeca

Life Ruiners

"Why would she do that?"
"Because she's a life ruiner, she ruins peoples lives."
I have this thought every time I read someones book. I swear EVERY TIME I GET TO THE CLIMAX OF A BOOK.

 Mean Girls is so relatable even when it isn't.

So on Thursday, June 26th, one of my favorite authors K.A. Tucker came by the Book Cellar (Chicago) and had a meet and greet. She was seriously so nice. It was a fun experience and I picked up her fourth book Five Ways to Fall <3. I'm still on her third book Four Seconds To Lose, and seriously I can't.
I love her books DON'T GET ME WRONG, but they just kill me. I seriously cry and scream while reading, and I'm pretty sure my mom is one outburst away from institutionalizing me. I'm being very serious.
K.A. Tucker isn't the only author I've fallen victim to though. There is Abbi Glines, John Green, Gayle Forman, Sara Wolf, J. Lynn, Marata Eros, Jessica Sorensen, Komal Kant, Colleen Hoover, Bennett Madison, and Autumn Doughton, just to name a few life ruiners.
Every single one of those authors have caused me to seriously re-evaluate my life when it comes to reading. Reading has become bittersweet. What am I saying, I love it.

I love the emotion that each book brings out of me. I love that even though this book can break me, it can also make me laugh and smile.

 I also scream out good things and I get all excited for the characters.
It's knowing what feelings these books bring out in me that seriously makes me want to become a serious writer. I want to do what those authors do. Write and have people feel a million different things while reading.
So I want to dedicate this blog to those life ruiners, I will be writing reviews on books that ruin my life and lets see where this takes me. (:
-Rebeca