Paying It Forward

I'm a big believer of doing everything you can to help someone and putting good thoughts, feelings, and actions out into the world.

I grew up in lower middle class, at one point in my life, I remember living in a basement with cockroaches and mice, and it wasn't our first home with those problems. I know what it's like to want something, but not asking for it because my parent's cannot afford it, even though they would do their best to give me what I want.

When I moved to the town that I live in now, I remember feeling left out. Sure we lived in a house, but I felt like that girl who came from a poor neighborhood all the time. I never really had dolls, I got my first doll when I was about nine, or something, and it was a Bratz doll, and I wanted it because my neighbor had a ton.

Over the years, I've learned to appreciate what I have. I often travel to Downtown Chicago, and I used to get sad all the time from seeing homeless people. I still get sad, but now I've chosen to do something about it.

I always carry a lot of spare change in my bag, mostly because I hate using it and it just accumilates. Every time I go to Chicago, I just give it to homeless people.
I know some of you may say that, I don't know if these people are going to buy drugs for themselves, or what they're going to do with the money they get. That's true, but I have faith in people.
Also, I often eat out in Chicago, and sometimes I get food at the train station or on the way to the train station. I always buy extra, and I give out food to the homeless.
It's always rewarding to see how happy they get when I offer them food. That's one way to ensure they're not going to spend the money on something bad.

What inspired me to write this post today was this video

It represents how one action can influence another action, and it can just keep going and going. Paying it forward. It really doesn't matter how big or small this action is, it's just the fact that you do something to keep it going.
I hope this put a little light in your day. Enjoy your Tuesday.
-Rebeca x

Sexual assault is not okay.

There has been buzz going around Sam Pepper's latest video (which has now been taken down from YouTube). If you didn't see the video, it is of Sam Pepper, pretending to have his hands in his pockets (has a big hoodie on) and when the girl turns around to give him directions, he pinches their butts and pretends it's not him.
The girls look confused and a bit horrified that someone touched them, I know I would be. Some of them laugh it off, but you could see that they were clearly uncomfortable. Those advances were unwanted.
Some people bring up the point that the girls laughed, they understood it was a joke, and obviously they were okay with it. Laughing about it doesn't mean anything! I laugh at the most inappropriate times, and I laugh when I am uncomfortable. Laughing doesn't mean that it was okay to do that to someone.
Sam Pepper has 2.4 MILLION subscribers, and unfortunately this isn't the first time he sexually harasses someone on camera in public. There have been kissing "pranks", lasso "pranks". Notice I put prank in quotation marks because it's not a prank. It isn't funny to the victims of his pranks.
Sex Educator Laci Green wrote an open letter to Sam Pepper, and many fellow YouTuber's responded, wanting to be a part of it. The community has spoken that this is not okay for people to do and make a profit from.
If you want to read the letter, you can press right here. Over 60+ YouTubers have signed this letter addressing Sam, and there have been over 80K reblogs on Tumblr. Sam Pepper is now disinvited from VidCon and Playlist Live.
There have been video responses like JamesChats (he does a great job addressing this) and many more calling Sam out, and I am glad because he should never be able to get away with this, no one in general should EVER get away with it.
If you are a victim of sexual assault, report it or talk to someone, I highly encourage you. It is never okay for someone to touch you without your consent, you are a person and you have rights.
Thanks for reading this guys, Go TEAM INTERNET!
-Rebeca x

World Suicide Prevention Day

"Scars remind us of where we've been, they don't have to dictate where we're going." -Agent Rossi, Criminal Minds.


Ever since I was little, I knew I was different. I saw the world differently than others. My world was often dark and I often felt alone.

It wasn't until I was sixteen that I was diagnosed. Bipolar 1. I thought, they had to be mistaken, there's no way I have Bipolar disorder. But all of a sudden, all the dots started to connect...

All those school nights that I ended up pulling all nighters and I didn't know why, it just felt like a good idea and that I was invincible, no sleep would make me think better and be better in class(ideas that didn't make sense). The days were my mind would race, and I couldn't stay still, or when I would talk and suddenly jump into a whole other conversation without taking a breath or realizing I was changing the conversation. Not being able to stay friends with people because all of a sudden, they became the most annoying person to me and I didn't need them, even though they did nothing to me. Anger coming and going quicker than I could blink.

And the crash...
The depression. The moment when things stopped making sense. When I felt this cloud of pure darkness come over me. I didn't want to leave my room. I didn't want to talk to people. I constantly felt like crying and I didn't know why. These were the moments when I felt like hurting myself, whether that be self-harm or suicidal ideations.

People always tell me, "Rebeca, you don't seem like the person who would be depressed. That's not who you are."
I think most of high school, I was able to cover it up real good. I think a lot of people are good at hiding their disease, that's why it comes such a shock to us when someone commits suicide.

The thing you have to know about Bipolar disorder is that we don't always get these "episodes." As I've gotten older and gotten help, these episodes became less and less, and I'm happier. I'm glad I got help three years ago.

Today is Suicide Awareness Day. The reason I wanted to tell my story is because mental illness and suicide go hand in hand.

• A significant number of those with mental illnesses who die by suicide do not contact health or social services near the time of their death. In many instances, there are insufficient services available to assist those in need at times of crisis. (IASP)
• Unless stigma is confronted and challenged, it will continue to be a major barrier to the treatment of mental illnesses and to the prevention of suicide.
• Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the world, especially among young people.
• Suicide accounts for one death every 40 seconds.

Suicides happen every day. They affect us all. We lose the people we love and cherish, and it kills us inside because we constantly think about what we could have done to help.

Here are some signs from Save.org that someone you know and love may be thinking about suicide:

Warning Signs of Suicide

These signs may mean someone is at risk for suicide. Risk is greater if a behavior is new or has increased and if it seems related to a painful event, loss or change.

• Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself.
• Looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online or buying a gun.
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
• Talking about being a burden to others.
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.
• Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
• Sleeping too little or too much.
• Withdrawn or feeling isolated.
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.
• Displaying extreme mood swings.

Additional Warning Signs of Suicide

• Preoccupation with death.
• Suddenly happier, calmer.
• Loss of interest in things one cares about.
• Visiting or calling people to say goodbye.
• Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
• Giving things away, such as prized possessions.

This is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US)-  1-800-273-TALK (8255)

To Write Love On Her Arms has a wonderful campaign going on right now, and I highly support them. It's called No One Else Can Play Your Part. 

You can watch the video they did here.

The reason I wrote this blogpost is because I want people to know they're not alone, and it's never too late to get help and recover. You are in this world for a reason.

Live and love you guys.

-Rebeca

1D and 5SOS in Chicago!

Last weekend I saw One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer at the Soldier Field Stadium in Chicago, and let me tell you...they were amazing.

But first let me tell you about my little adventure, I mean this has been an eight month wait to see all of these boys! 

I've never had any trouble driving to Chicago, I go to the city about once a month, or more depending on what I am there to do. Usually, I take the train if I'm going there to visit friends who have come into town or just to go shopping. But if I'm going to a concert, I find a parking garage close by and drive there. It's more convenient for me, especially since I won't have to worry about walking to a train station at night.

Since my sister refused to ditch school so we could get there a bit earlier, we didn't get to leave my house until 4, then we went to go get her pizza so she could eat, and then put her paycheck in the bank. I was very stressed when we finally were heading to the concert. 

The drive never takes more than an hour, but I didn't take to account the fact that there would be 50,000 people at this stadium. That meant people were coming out of town...

It took us two hours to finally get through traffic and get into the city, then we parked at parking lot. I paid 5 dollars, and I thought "oh, we can totally just walk a mile and a half, no problem!"

There were no cabs, but there were groups of people walking toward the stadium. We just followed them, and two blisters later and half an hour walk, we finally got to the stadium.

I have never been so relieved. Turns out that 5SOS wasn't coming on until almost 7:30, so we didn't miss anything.

My sister and I got different seats because the tickets went out FAST. We took what we could get, and I was sitting in 105, and she was sitting in 108. Our seats were very good.

5SOS opened up and they were amazing. It was the second time I was seeing them live, and I was fangirling and singing and screaming.

About halfway through, I heard my name, and my sister was calling me. She was with her friends, and turns out her friend had two extra tickets in section 104, and I went with them and 5SOS finished performing.

 Originally how close I was to the stage (105).

 Luke. AKA Sex God.

 Ashton. OMFG.

 Ashton AGAIN.

 This was when I moved. AND CALUM<3

And Michael<3

5SOS did an amazing show then it was now One Directions turn! I have been waiting three years to see these boys, and I lost my voice the first minute they came out. But I was still rocking, and crying.

My sister and I at the concert right before One Direction came out.

I will never forget this concert. Especially the time Harry came over to my side and.... lol

We also wished/sang Liam a Happy Birthday!

I will never forget this concert. Especially the time Harry came over to my side and.... lol

OMFG.

Then we had a brutal walk back to the car, and we went home. Next day was amazing too, but I didn't take pictures. I just wanted to enjoy it, and it was amazing. (:

-Becky